Archive for April, 2008

A Thousand Things That Piss Me Off (Part 3)

Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008

43. “Video Killed the Radio Star” by the Buggles. Not only is it an incredibly annoying song, but ironically, it refuses to die.
44. People who insist on pointing out that “Video Killed the Radio Star” was the first video ever to be played on MTV. First of all, most people already know that. Second, nobody [...]

The Ongoing Saga of Tim Hortons Girl

Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008

I am in love with a Tim Hortons employee near my office. The following is a fragmented log of the discussions regarding this that have taken place amongst the members of the Shplang community message board.
March 2nd, 2008
carny: There’s a girl that works at the tim horton’s near here that is foreign (sounds like, eastern [...]

Plenty of Fish: Volume One

Monday, April 21st, 2008

When I get down about love, sometimes I just really have to remind myself of one thing: There are plenty of fish in the sea!
My mom told me this a long time ago when my bus driver wouldn’t be my date to the big dance and then she told me again at the dance when [...]

Incredibly Sexy Erotic Fiction # 1

Thursday, April 17th, 2008

There was a thump, and Billy woke up with a start. Heart racing, he fumbled around for the light switch. Where is it, he thought, becoming increasingly nervous. He could feel the presence of someone in the room. Or something. Naked, vulnerable, breathing rapidly, he found the bedside lamp and turned it on.
As his eyes [...]

A Thousand Things That Piss Me Off (Part 2)

Wednesday, April 16th, 2008

21. People who fight with each other in public, forcing everyone around them to sit there and pretend it’s not happening.
22. People who fight with other people on their mobile phones in public. This one’s even worse, because you’re only privy to one side of the conversation. How are you supposed to choose a side?
23. [...]